


Drag Me

by CrashStack



Series: Fics for Rainb0we! [12]
Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: Angst, Barkley/Withered Bonnie, Cole/Withered Foxy, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Mental Breakdown, Rainb0we's AU, Suicidal Thoughts, Withered Bonnie - Freeform, Withered Foxy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:55:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23677231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrashStack/pseuds/CrashStack
Summary: Barkley just wanted to get high enough to escape the pain.
Series: Fics for Rainb0we! [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1526105
Kudos: 15





	Drag Me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rainb0we](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainb0we/gifts).



> Me: **soaked in depression**
> 
> Me after B0we gave me permission to vent with his characters: **this thing**
> 
> It's Barkley and Frazier time, and we're touching down on just how much Barkley is suffering!

Barkley took another drag, sucking in the fumes so hard he nearly choked, before letting out a long breath and slumping further against the wall behind his bed. Usually the smell was something he could tolerate, something he enjoyed, but tonight it just made him feel sick.

He made sure that the vents to his room were covered and the opening under the door was stuffed with a blanket. He didn’t want anyone else catching wind of what he was doing, especially Wade and Gordon. Wade would just take what was left of his stash and open his window to air out the room, but Gordon was sensitive to smell and Barkley didn’t want the old bear getting sick. It had happened once, and everyone in the house had chewed him out for it for days afterwards. He was enough of a fuckup as it was, he couldn’t ever forgive himself if Gordon got sick again.

Another drag. Bonnie was quiet within him. He hadn’t been like that earlier when Barkley had slipped out his stash, yelling at the teen and trying to yank back control. Barkley’s resolve had been stronger, and he subdued the other long enough until the drugs did it for him. Bonnie didn’t like the weed, it kept him quiet and dazed, but Barkley didn’t like some of the stuff he did either and sometimes people had to deal with things they didn’t want to.

Like him.

Wade was always lecturing him about his problem _myproblemisyouasshole_ while Freddy just went along with what he said. Bonnie was always on his case for the stuff that he did to find the drugs and how he always did them. Chica was always trying to play good cop, something that Barkley wouldn’t fall for again when she ratted him out to Wade, and Corina was mostly indifferent to him but he remembered that familiar look of disgust all too well from before. Frazier never said anything, but there was that look of disappointment in his eyes that Barkley couldn’t stand. Foxy didn’t really care; hell, he’d even ask for some, but he would hint about how it wasn’t good for him to use it so much. Gordon was the only one who really listened, didn’t judge or lecture him, but Barkley was almost always away from him because he didn’t want the old bear to get nauseous from the smell that clung to him when he was in control.

If he wasn’t stuck in the same situation he knew that they’d just tell him to leave. There were other places to go, but why would he burden them with his presence? Why would the others shove him in another building where he’d still be just as much as a problem? He just annoyed everyone, got in the way so much that he’d be shoved down the hall so fast that not even Bonnie could control their wheels.

His next drag was shaky.

Barkley had always heard about how weed was a massive stress reliever in school. He’d see just about anyone with a few bucks buying bags of the stuff and joints behind the school dumpsters and in the woods. Barkley had been a good kid, one that never stepped out of line or spoke up, but he had always wondered what it was like to experience that. He could never work up the courage to buy any. He’d see other teenagers sprawled out on whatever surface that they were on, so limp and on the verge of sleep or laughing so much they’d be crying.

So why wasn’t he getting that?

When he started smoking it, something he had to beg Bonnie to let him do, it had been good at first. The high had been so calming. For the first time in his life, Barkley had been at peace. He felt bliss; nothing but the gentle blanket of the plant had grown over him. It had stayed with him for hours afterwards, and he had burst into tears when it finally left him. It had felt so amazing and he had felt so happy.

But then it withered away after a few more hits, and now he was barely getting that needed bliss at all. It was there in the background, but he always felt shaky after a few minutes and too sick to breathe in anymore. Bonnie’s already fragile reluctance snapped after Barkley spun into a panic so bad that he had passed out, but Barkley refused to give up. He could get that feeling again, he knew he could. He just needed to keep trying.

And here he was: fuckup of the century failing to get a simple high that he didn’t even deserve.

He jumped when there was a knock on his door. “Barkley?”

Barkley groaned. Frazier. “Go away,” he groaned. His head hit the wall with a dull thud. He winced.

“Ye haven’ come ou’ all day,” Frazier said, completely ignoring his demand. “Dinner’s ready.”

It had Barkley sitting up with wide eyes. Fuck, dinner. He felt so hungry. Bonnie hadn’t been able to get Barkley up and out of their room no matter how hard he tried. It was always so much worse when he was getting high, the feeling of hunger eating away at his insides.

But… Barkley leaned back against the wall, his face falling. _It’s not like I need it. I’m not human anymore._ “Not hungry,” he tried to shout, but it came out a tired grumble. His legs pressed together. The pants were down to the backs of his toes.

A rough scoff. “Yeah, sure. Come on, ou’ wit’ ye.”

“Go away,” the grizzled rabbit repeated from earlier, a scowl fitting on his face. Wade’s face. It was technically Freddy's but it was also _Wade's_. Seemed like everything had an attachment to Wade one way or another: like Frazier.

The doorknob jiggled. Barkley wasn’t worried, he had locked it like usual.

Then it turned and the door clicked open. Frazier shoved it open with a small grunt, pushing the wadded towel underneath the wood. “Why is there a towel under the door?”

A choked sound left him. He would’ve paled if he could have.

The grizzled fox’s nose twitched as he pushed into the room. “Fuckin’ ‘ell,” he mumbled. He looked at Barkley, frowning and ears drooping. “Barkley…”

“Get out,” Barkley hissed. The light coming in from the hallway hurt his eyes. The room was dark for a reason. “Now.”

“Fuck tha’.” Frazer shut the door firmly. The soft honey glow of his eye was brighter than the dim light that made its way through the curtains. “Jesus, i’ smells awful in ‘ere.”

“Then leave.”

Frazier just stormed towards the window. “Ye’ve been gettin’ high all day,” he said. He lifted it up with a small sound. “Time ta come down.”

His scowl could have melted metal. It felt like it was melting him on the inside. “Close the window and get out,” Barkley demanded. “You’re messing up my high.”

The screen came down with a faint click. Frazier looked at him with an almost bored scowl. “Yeah, I really ruined i’,” he muttered. He scoffed. “Ye’re shakin’ li’e a leaf, yer high was already fucked.”

Barkley gritted his teeth. He wondered if he could pop his face off with the pressure. “Get out.”

The grizzled pirate sighed. “This isn’ good fer ye.” There was disappointment on his face. 

Disappointment. Disappointment in the face of the man that drank himself to near death almost every day and dabbled in some of Barkley’s stash from time to time. Disappointment in the face of the man who had once actually shown him more than the bare minimum of kindness. Disappointment.

_Disappointment in me._

“Ye can’ do this every day.”

 _Fuck this._ “And you can?!” Barkley exploded, twisting around in his spot and face wrenching in anger. Frazier straightened and recoiled. “So you can do this every day but I can’t?! How is that fair?!”

Frazier stared at him, honey eye wide; what was left of his right socket was lifted.

“You drink every single day! You get so drunk that you can’t stand and you’re a sobbing mess! We’ve smoked together!” He felt sick to his stomach and he was shaking, but he didn’t care. “How can you tell me that it’s not good for me when you do the exact same thing?!”

The pirate spluttered for a minute. Then, “T-that’s differen’!” he blurted, fur bristling.

“How?!” Barkley sat back, gripping his knees so tightly that they ached. He had no idea where his joint went, but right now he honestly couldn’t care with the biggest hypocrite standing in front of him. “Tell me just how it’s different from your drinking! Pray fucking tell!”

A snarl broke across the fuming expression. “I’m an adult-!”

The laugh that broke through his gritted teeth was almost hysterical. Frazier’s mouth snapped shut, the snarl smoothing into a startled frown and eye widening. “I’m an adult too, you know!”

Guilt spread across Frazier’s face, almost overshadowing the concern. “Barkley-”

“I’ve been dead for how many years?!” His hand went up to his chest and pressed down. There was no heartbeat, no coursing blood; just fur and metal. He could feel it all beneath his shirt. “How long?” It came out a rasp.

“Barkley, ye need ta relax.” Frazier stepped carefully up to the bed like he was approaching a cornered animal. “Ye-”

“This is how I relax,” the grizzled rabbit snipped. “Just like how you do.”

A firmness settled on Frazier’s face. “Ye’re still a child, no matter wha’ ye say.”

“Really?” Another laugh bubbled from his mouth. “I’m forever a child stuck inside of a robot rabbit from the 80’s? Is that what you mean?”

The firmness was washed away by an almost sick expression. Frazier’s arms tucked back against him. “N-no-!”

“I’m in this thing forever.” The bare hand tugged harshly at his chest. It stung, but he didn’t care. It grounded him. “I’m forever a child, so I guess that means I can’t smoke weed or drink because I’m never going to grow up.”

“Barkley, stop.” The rough voice was desperate.

“I can’t grow up because I’m stuck in this thing.” He wondered if he could pierce the fabric of his shirt and chest with his dull fingers. “Because you left me.”

Frazier looked struck. His ears folded back, his tail against the floor. “I-I didn’ mean-!”

He pounded his fist against the bed, gripping the sheets. “You _left_ me!” It came out a cracked scream. He was done with excuses. “You left me alone! I didn’t want to split up and you left me!”

“Bar-!”

“I have nightmares about that! I’ll be running towards the door and screaming for you, because I thought you were going to save me some way or another, and then I’ll feel my head crack open just before I wake up!” His face felt wet. _“And you left me!”_

A sharp whine slipped from Frazier’s mouth.

“I don’t care that I died! I wanted to anyway!” The flaming candy eyes were burning holes into the fox’s face. “I care that you abandoned me! You fucking abandoned me!”

The bare hand was gripping the maroon fur tightly, the tip of the sharp hook poking into the faux skin. “I didn’…” It was a choked whisper.

“I _trusted_ you!” The aftermath of the dance had given him too much hope. He should have known.

“I-I…”

His throat felt like it was tearing itself apart. “I thought I could trust you!” His chest was heaving, fluttering. “But y-you left me! Ju-ust like e-everyone e-else!”

Frazier looked mortified. He gripped his chest. “Barkley…”

“All of you _h-hate_ me!” Barkley wailed. His ears felt so heavy as he moved his head even though they were barely moving with him. “I just want this one thing!”

The honey iris was watering and shiny.

“I just want to be happy!” A strangled hiccup was ripped from him. “I-is that t-too much to a-a-ask for?!”

He wanted to keep yelling, keep screaming at Frazier and make the dead man _leave_ , but his throat choked from the sobs trying to get out. His mouth snapped shut and his jaw clenched to hold in the pitiful sounds. He could feel Bonnie squirming in him, trying to fill him with warmth and comfort, but Barkley just felt so hurt and cold that he knew nothing would ever make it better. He could keep trying to get that blissful high again, but he just couldn’t.

The only sound was Barkley’s muffled cries.

The floorboards creaked. The bed dipped under pressure, and then an arm hooked around the thin shoulders. Barkley tried to rip away. “Don’t touch me!” he screamed, struggling under the touch. “Don’t-!”

Frazier didn’t let go. He held tight. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

The worn rabbit froze.

“I didn’ mean ta ‘urt ye,” Frazier went on. His hand was starting to go up and down his arm. “I never mean’ ta, I swear.”

Barkley slowly looked at him. His jaw felt like it pinched from how sudden it dropped.

“I shouldn’ ‘ave left ye.” The rough voice was cracking more and more. “I shouldn’ ‘ave ever left ye alone, it was so stupid of me ta do tha’. If I ‘ad ever known wha’ was goin’ ta happen, I would’ve never brought ye alon’.”

The candy eyes filled with more tears. “That’s leaving me alone either way,” Barkley rasped. Frazier jerked his head back like he had been slapped. He sucked in a choppy breath. “I-I just wanted to s-stay.”

Why couldn’t he have just stayed with the kid?

“I’m sorry.” The dusty maroon cheeks were wet. A toothy grimace. “I’m sorry.”

Something in Barkley broke. A wail was torn from him. His entire body felt so tired and weak; he slumped where he sat, shoulders quaking.

Frazier pulled the worn rabbit towards him. Barkley practically fell on him, sobbing. He was almost limp in the ripped arms.

“Shh…” He gently ran his hand down the back of Barkley’s head. It was too _small_. “I’s alrigh’, kiddo.”

Barkley roughly nuzzled his head against Frazier’s chest. He gasped and sobbed, like every bit of his body was focused on crying and breathing. The soft color of Frazier’s hoodie darkened steadily underneath the tears. He could smell some kind of fragrant tea and coffee; Frazier must have stayed away from the alcohol today. It just made Barkley feel more alone in the neverending struggle to find bliss again.

Frazier held him close. Dampness tapped against the top of his head.

His head hurt, his limbs felt heavy. He couldn’t stop shaking.

Warmth started to spread beneath his shirt. _“Right here, bud.”_ Bonnie’s voice was quiet and slurred.

_“I’m sorry.”_

_“I know, bud. It’s okay.”_

_“But-!”_

_“Shh…”_ There was a light pressure against his spine, like Bonnie was hugging him. _“I’m right here, bud.”_

Sleep came easier than Barkley thought it could.

The broken crying and shaking slowly tapered off. The sobs died into quiet sniffles and hiccups, and then to raspy, even breathing. The tremors faded. The tears on Frazier’s hoodie started to cool. Relief washed throughout Frazier’s body. He was honestly believing that the teen would never stop crying even with the combination of a bad high and an emotional breakdown.

The smell of weed was mostly cleared up, but there was still something replenishing the scent in the room. Frazier looked over at what was left of the joint lying on the bed. His nose scrunched up at the smell. He shoved down the curt impulse to take a drag himself to ease the hurt inside of him, but he wouldn’t disappoint Wade or prove his hypocrisy further to Barkley. He’d get rid of it later.

Barkley’s breathing was ragged, but even.

Frazier let out a tired sigh. His posture wilted and slumped. “Fuck.”

He could easily set Barkley down and get the boy’s dinner, leave it on the nightstand and shut the door, but Frazier couldn’t even imagine setting the worn rabbit down. It wasn’t just because him leaving would certainly destroy what little friendship they had left, but because he just couldn’t bear to set Barkley down.

_“I don’t care that I died! I wanted to anyway!”_

His throat felt tight. He knew Barkley hadn’t been happy, but not like this. If it had been so bad back then, he could only imagine just how horrible it was now. The overwhelming need to get high, Bonnie taking over whenever the teasing went too far, the nights where Barkley would be gone for hours only to come back and crash in his bed for the entire day…

_Me being the only one in his life to care and then abandoning him to take care of himself._

If Frazier let go and set him down, he was almost certain that Barkley would disappear.

Dinner could be reheated and remade.

It took some time for Frazier to get into a more comfortable spot to settle for the night. He settled against the wall, wincing at the faint crack his back gave, and curled his tail around Barkley’s legs. He just hoped he was warm enough. He had never wished for more now that Barkley would pick up the almost constantly strewn blankets.

_“‘e’s been through tha’ ringer.”_

Frazier didn’t comment on Foxy’s previous silence. _“Yeah.”_

_“We feel li’e shit.”_

_“Yeah.”_

_“…Do ye thin’ we can make this up ta ‘im?”_

Frazier raised a brow at the air.

 _“He said tha’ we ‘ate ‘im, Frazier.”_ The usually cocky tone was heavy. _“We’ve all been makin’ ‘im feel li’e tha’. I kept ignorin’ Bonnie when ‘e said the boy was ‘urt by tha teasin’.”_

_“We all did.”_ Even me. 

_“‘e thinks we ‘ate ‘im.”_

_“I know.”_

_“Ye thin’ we can fix this?”_ Foxy’s voice was hushed; desperate.

Frazier’s grip around Barkley tightened just so. The rabbit shifted with him like a ragdoll. “We’ll make it up ta ‘im,” he whispered. He started petting the soft fur again. “We will.”

Beneath the rancid smell of weed, they could smell cake and cookies.

**Author's Note:**

> I felt a little better after this vent honestly. Thanks, Barky 😘


End file.
